Like I mentioned in my last post, I have been on a clear liquid diet. I have been limited to water, Powerade Zero, and diluted cranberry juice. It actually was not too difficult until these past couple days. When my mom started cooking. Man, can that woman cook. The aromas were very tough to handle! But, I stuck to my guns and got through it!

The bubble in my chest went away, thankfully. However, in place of that, I then started feeling pain in the left side of my chest whenever I took a breath. I called my sister (a hospitalist) and she said not to worry. I also found a great forum, ThinnerTimes, where a member told me that the surgeon has to do a lot of rough maneuvering on that side. So now, even though I am sore, I feel much better about that.

Last night, I felt amazing. So amazing, that I was a bit wired, apparently. I could not fall asleep for the life of me! So, I accidentally slept through my alarm this morning. I missed my post-op appointment by a slim ten minutes and had to reschedule for next week. I kind of went into panic mode, because that was supposed to be the time they let me go to full liquids! So I called them back later and got approval to go ahead regardless. YAY! I had cheddar soup for lunch and it was sooooo heavenly. You have no idea. It was like I had died and gone to heaven.

My mom and I also went to the gym today for the first time post-op. I had to keep the treadmill at 1.5 mph or below. This really surprised and frustrated me, since I had finally gotten to 3.0 mph pre-op! But my abdomen was killing me. It felt like my stomach was doing all the work.

So week one post-surgery: I am alive. I am hopeful. I am emotional and have tear stained eyes. I am strong!

Day before the surgery:
Up until this point, I was barely nervous. I was more anxious to get the surgery done! However, my nerves caught up to me on the 29th (the day before the procedure). I was not nervous about being able to follow the strict diet, or keeping up with exercising. I was more freaked out about that .01% chance of fatality. I was able to keep my mind off of it most of the day though, since I had to pack everything up and get ready for the big event. At 1:00 PM, I had to down a 10 oz. bottle of Magnesium Citrate to empty my bowels. It was disgusting and tiring, but definitely not as bad as preparing for a colonoscopy! The Magnesium Citrate actually did not taste that bad; it was just very, very sour like biting into a lemon.

Day of the surgery (December 30th):
My procedure was scheduled for 8:00 AM, so we needed to be there at 6:00 AM for pre-op. It wasn’t too difficult to wake up that early since I didn’t sleep too heavy that night. After my parents and I arrived and checked in, I was taken up to the pre-op area. Some blood was taken to test my potassium level. I changed into the gorgeous backless gown and waited on the stiff as a board bed. One by one, practitioners dropped by, hooked me up to an IV, took my vitals, and explained the anesthesia. I then got to put on a big, blue, puffy shower cap type thing. This is when I was wheeled to the OR. It was a bit of madness before they put me under. I had to transfer to the operating table, maneuver my arms onto the side pads, and answer questions. Finally, I was under. The next thing I remember is waking up in my hospital room. My mom said that the surgeon thought it went very smoothly – almost the best one he’s done!

The hospital stay:
The two days at the hospital were quite a blur. I was on a mix of Percocet and Tylenol the majority of the time. I was walking the day of the surgery. I was able get around by myself pretty quickly. The liquid consumption was probably the most important thing for me to do, and it was the most confusing. They kept bringing new bottles and cups and were not very good at keeping track of how much I was drinking. I was not happy with the intelligence level of my nurses. They did not keep me informed, and skirted around all my questions. Also, my main nurse was very passive aggressive! I think she made a stab at how messy my bed was once… I may be a little bitter since she’s the one who pulled out my Jackson-Pratt drain. Holy cow is that a horrible feeling! I never, ever want to feel that again. I’m shuddering even thinking about it! It felt like I was having a heart attack.

At home:
Until my follow-up appointment this Friday morning, I will be on a clear liquid diet. This means I can have water, clear juices, broth, sugar free JELL-O, and sugar free popsicles. They typically want you to drink at least 3-4 oz. an hour. It has been tough, since I already feel the limits of my new pouch! I definitely feel full faster.

Honestly, I’m quite worried about how much discomfort I am experiencing. It feels like I have a huge bubble of air in the center of my chest. It hurts to burp. My stomach is growling non-stop, but my digestive system won’t release any of the excess gases. I put a call into my Bariatric nurse, and I should be hearing back from her soon.

As far as scars go, I have six very small incisions across my abdomen. They will probably leave small scars, but nothing horrible!

After my follow-up, I will be on a full liquid diet for a couple weeks. This means I can have Cream of Wheat, applesauce, creamy soups, and milk! That sounds like heaven right now.

I’m also hanging on to my weight still. I know the number HAS to go down with how little I am eating, but I really wish it would happen soon!

Here’s what I am going to do. Instead of writing a whole long, boring story, I am first asking all of YOU, my readers, to ask me questions. Do not be afraid to ask anything embarrassing, or stupid or ridiculous. Believe me, I feel like I have a million of those myself! Ask me questions (send me a private message if you’d feel more comfortable) and I will answer them as best I can.

If I do not get any questions by Friday, I will go ahead and write the long, drawn-out, too much detail story for you guys!

Sunday, I went shopping two of my girlfriends. We shopped for six hours, and I think that may have been too much. I had fun, but my mind was elsewhere. I was also irritable and moody. I felt horrible; picking fights, being on the edge of tears at all times. Luckily, they were super understanding and just excited for me to do this! I can’t really blame myself for being so insane – I had been fasting for 8 days!

Yesterday, I went to the British Television Advertisement Awards at the Walker Art Center with a good friend. It was good to visit the museum again – it had been awhile, and it’s one of my favorite things about Minneapolis! I got really tired and distracted at the end, but made it through until the end without too much trouble! However, the workout last night was just dragging on and on. It was one of those days where no matter how hard I worked and how much I felt like keeling over, my heart rate would not budge! It was worth it to push through though, because this morning’s workout was much better!

Today is going fine! I am almost all packed up. Just working on the “cleansing” now. I have to go in tomorrow morning at 6am, and will be in the OR at 8am! Wish me luck!!

So, we are snowed in. I do not feel safe enough in my little Honda to brave the roads to go work out! Instead, I am trying to make myself do a chore every couple hours to keep me active and distracted. For my weight, cleaning burns 440 calories per hour. That is the same as an hour on the recumbent bikes at the gym! I don’t quite know if this is accurate, though, since I am sweating buckets after a bike ride, but not after cleaning…

I found a new “recipe” to make this liquid diet less mundane! I make hot chocolate with Rich Milk Chocolate Carnation Instant Breakfast and then add a drop or two of orange extract. Mmmm… just like the chocolate oranges I always got in my stocking!

I stuck through it though! I had 5-6 glasses of milk, two bowls of broth and a bunch of water. I felt like I could float across the Atlantic. Man, did I retain water. After everyone left, I just could not take it anymore and went to the gym.

The gym is my new cigarette. It’s amazing. I get bored, I go to the gym. I get stressed, I go to the gym. I get hungry, I go to the gym! I can see now how people become addicted. What a surprise, though, coming from me!

I now feel much better, and so proud of myself for sticking through the first day. Tomorrow’s challenge? Doing the liquid diet at work. Also, I hope that the scale reads correctly tomorrow. Today it shot up 5 pounds because I am so damn bloated! What a downer when you’re working this hard.

I really need to work on NOT looking at the scale everyday. What a horrible habit.

I just need to vent about this. I am so frustrated today, because I have spent the last few days eating horribly. In the past year, for some reason my PMS symptoms have been terrible. I never used to get too emotional, bloat-y, or hungy. Now, I feel like a blimp, I’m so anxious that all I want to do is crawl under a rock, and I want to eat everything in sight. It’s a hard change to adjust to!

I know there is nothing I can do about it now except do better tomorrow, and I plan to. Luckily I was very active this weekend, so I feel that much more okay with the situation!

Last night, I talked to my sister again about the surgery. It is so nice to have her so excited for me. Most people who live around me day by day don’t say much either way. They don’t want to get emotionally involved. So it was really nice to talk to someone who actually gets giddy about it with me! She told me that she and her boyfriend will be having a destination wedding at the Cayman Islands. It won’t be for another couple years, so I will be ME by the time it happens. I can see me now…scuba diving, laying on a lounger in a SWIMSUIT…SO exciting!!

I am blown away by reading the last commentors’ blogs. What inspiration! Doing it au naturale, and without these sad complaints. Definitely something to aspire to!

Today, I went to LifeTime Fitness to sign up for a membership! I was a member a year ago, but had to quit since my pay was cut 25%. Moving home has freed up a bit of money for it again. During my previous membership I joined and attended Team Weight Loss. It was great to learn the basics and find out how to get a good workout, but in the end I couldn’t handle working out with strangers. Most of them just had a horrible attitude toward working out and the science of it. They tried working their bodies too hard, and complained while doing it! I like being excited about it and motivated, not brought down by my peers’ attitude!

It felt so, so good to get on that treadmill today! I went for a full 1/2 hour, and probably could have gone more. I didn’t though, because I am worried that if I get too overzealous, I may burnout quickly. It’s so nice to go somewhere where it’s just me, working on me, and pampering myself afterwards!

When I got home, my family started playing Settlers of Catan. Here’s a little history to our game playing: My brother, mom and I found a new love for games like Settlers, Puerto Rico and Power Grid. They are long, complicated strategy games. Our tradition used to be to take smoke breaks every half hour, and eat a big take-out meal after we were done.

Since I quit smoking and eating that crap, it’s been strangely excruciating for me to get through a board game! My brother still smokes, so when he heads out for a cig, I am in agony. Also, I am always thinking in the back of my mind “When is dinner? What will we have?”

Needless to say, I bowed out after one heated game of Settlers. It’s crazy what our mind, body and emotions become conditioned to!

Now that it’s over, I realize that was my addiction speaking. I saw the turkey, smelled the sage of the stuffing, and was quickly persuaded. I need to employ some defense mechanisms before I even end up in the situation next time.

I am learning, though. Last night, while talking to a good friend on the phone, she mentioned having “one last blowout” for me on Saturday, since I will not be able to drink in a month. I was all for it for a few minutes, but when I hung up the phone, I decided that it was a horrible idea! They already had a “last junk food night” for me a month ago. I’m sure we could make every weekend until the surgery a “last” celebration.

These next few weeks are for preparing my life for the surgery and becoming healthier. I need to remind myself of this. But also be understanding of the mistakes I will make once in awhile.

Before, that much wine in that amount of time would have affected me like water. Last night, I walked out of the bar feeling like I shouldn’t drive. Wow! And because of this, I had to sober up. I went to Jimmy John’s, ate a sandwich, then went to Caribou for some coffee. My choice to drink led to more horrible choices.

Like I said, I learned a valuable lesson last night.