Board games bad for addicts?

I learned that my past traditions with the family have translated into an addiction minefield.


Continue Reading November 28, 2009 at 4:19 pm 2 comments

Turkey Day

I decide to have a “last feast” and decide that I will run myself into the ground with all the “lasts” I could celebrate!

Continue Reading November 26, 2009 at 9:24 pm 1 comment

Happy Hour

I know I mentioned weening off the drinking before my surgery before, but last night I was taught quite a lesson! I am blown away by how low my tolerance has become after just a few months of eating healthier. I went to a happy hour with some work friends to congratulate a girl for getting a new job. I stayed there for two hours, eating appetizers and slowly sipping on three glasses of wine.

Before, that much wine in that amount of time would have affected me like water. Last night, I walked out of the bar feeling like I shouldn’t drive. Wow! And because of this, I had to sober up. I went to Jimmy John’s, ate a sandwich, then went to Caribou for some coffee. My choice to drink led to more horrible choices.

Like I said, I learned a valuable lesson last night.

November 25, 2009 at 12:24 pm Leave a comment


I went out with some new friends on Saturday night. It was an eclectic group of people – many different shapes, sizes, personalities, social skills. We ended up at the Loop bar, a place I had never been before!

Since I will not be drinking for a year after December 20th, I am trying to ween myself off the booze. So, I had a couple glasses of wine at the house before-hand, and one drink when I got there. Otherwise, it was straight cranberry juice for me! Thus, the mixture of a totally new crowd and sobriety made it hard to be super social! So, I danced. I danced my ass off. Literally. I have found that dancing is a great workout, and I always have fun while doing it!

This self-induced bliss had a few hiccups, and they are the reason I am writing this post. I had one man (in the group I was with) start dancing with me and continue to yell in my ear “YEAH! Just keeping shaking it! You’re sexy! Just keep shaking it, and the guys will come running!” My thoughts were, “Honey, I’ve been shaking it all night. Thanks for the pep talk, though.”

About an hour later, his girlfriend cornered me and breathed, “I just have to tell you… I lost 70 pounds last year and was not and still AM not as confident as you are tonight. Good for you, and keep it up! I work at Lane Bryant and see so many women like you..”

While this was flattering, and appreciated, another part of my brain was offended for all fat people out there. None of the thinner women were complimented for their confidence that night. Being fat should not equate to having no confidence.

Maybe I was pin-pointed for a reason. Maybe we need to work on keeping our chins high and being self-sufficient! I challenge each of you, thin and thick, to spend a day NOT looking at your feet. I made this conscious effort a while back and it has changed my outlook for the better.

November 24, 2009 at 2:15 am Leave a comment


Well hello there!

Before I take you on this long journey with me, I figured you should know a few things about me.

I am an Interior Designer who graduated with a B.S. at the University of Minnesota in the spring of 2008. I am very passionate for the arts and music. I have a Labradinger who is 18 months old and a spitfire.

Yes, I am the average, young, stylish fat woman. I have struggled with my weight since before I can remember. The first time I realized my weight might be a problem was when I was four and told I could only have 4 chips/crackers per day.

The one time I reached a healthy weight was in eighth grade. I weighed 130 pounds after a grueling stint on the Atkin’s Diet. Of course, eighth grade is not a stable, confident time in any girl’s life. I was still chastised for being overweight, and became depressed. I quickly gained the weight back, plus more. Since then, I have tried Atkin’s again, Weight Watchers, Dr. Phil, Lifetime Fitness’ Weight Loss Challenge, and the list goes on!

I weigh in today at 316 pounds.

Why am I blogging? I will be going in on December 30th for a gastric bypass surgery. This blog will shed some honest light on being a fat woman taking action to lose weight and be healthy, and also help me to record my progress. I will not sugarcoat or make excuses. I will be truthful to you, my readers, and myself.

November 23, 2009 at 1:01 pm Leave a comment

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